Still Dreaming About The Stars

Some days I wish I was still 13...Like today...On this pic I was 13 about to be 14...Man! I still remember how much I cried that day!...I cried of happiness...I was finally receiving my 'stars'!...After an entire year eagerly waiting for that day...After an entire year of training...1st Aids course...Drills!....After all the blood and tears...I was finally receiving my wonderful 'stars'!...

With those stars on my shoulders I could finally help people for real!....I could ride the ambulances as my colleagues could do...I could help them out during Summer time to put out fires!...Man! I was so proud of those stars...so proud of that uniform....And my Dad! Gosh!There were stars in his eyes too!...

I wish I was 13 again....I wish all my worries were still the same I had back then...

And those were not the only stars I dreamed about...The Star Spangled Banner was already a goal to achieve...And so many times I wished upon a shooting star to help me out fulfill my dream...

20 years later...And I'm still crying over those stars...It's so hard when you put all your heart into something and everyone seems to commend you for the good job you're doing and all you get is a tap on your shoulder and not the stars over what you've cried and bled for...

I cried today...It's a fact...And this time weren't tears of happiness... And my Dad ain't here no more to wipe them out for me...Now He has his own place among the stars and is watching over me...So I fell...But I'm up again...I shall continue walking...with a steady walk..Maybe even stronger...

Still dreaming about the stars....Still wanting to reach them...

Like they say...What doesn't kill me, makes me stronger.

And for the sake of my 3 lil'stars brought to this world I'm still holding on to that dream...I know that one day...maybe sooner than I expect my lucky star will shine again...

Autumn Thoughts!....

Autumn generally is not an easy time of the year for me...The days go shorter and I hardly have opportunity to see any daylight...I'm not very fond of the cold weather either...And my mood gets as gray as the sky above me... And then comes that homesick feeling...The reddish trees...The smell of fresh made peanut butter cookies...*big sigh*....
I still love my job that's a fact but I feel now that I want a bit more than this..
Either I get a promotion asap or I got to start chasing my dream job again!....
And for the first time in my life I got criticized cause "apparently" I'm too thin now!....Yup...That's true...My MIL today asked me what is wrong with me cause I'm too skinny now!...Well 1 year ago they were asking hubby what he was doin' to me cause I was going rounder by the day!...What a f**** is wrong with everyone?? I feel good about myself (I mean kind of!) so stop bugging me!Gee....
Ain't people ever satisfied?...Is there always a lil'something for us to complaint about?...
I guess that is human nature...right?...But I'd appreciate if some people could keep it to
themselves...

Heya Everyone!

Just wanna let ya know that I'm still alive and kickin'!LOL!
I know that I've been slacking a lot in what concerns to my blogging life but hey!A woman gotta do what a woman gotta do! ;)
You people take care!

Short Tale 4 -"Lost without ya"

«The minute I opened up the door I knew that that was just another huge mistake...

We just had a fight a couple of hours before and you said that you don't need this in your life...That I was too complicated for you...

I'm too complicated?...Those words kept pounding in my brain since the moment they came out of your mouth...

But there you were...Standing at my door again...Asking me to come inside and have a word...

I knew I should have said: "There's nothing else for us to say..." I knew I should have asked you to leave...

But I didn't...I couldn't...It was stronger than me...

You tried to hold me but I stepped away from you...Turned my back on you and faced the wall...I needed to stay focused and I couldn't do it staring at your eyes...

You apologized about the way you acted before...But I was hurt...

You came closer and put your arms around me...I asked you to stop and go away...

You turned me and made me face you...Placed your finger gently over my lips and shushed me...

My whole body was trembling and I could barely feel my legs...The way you pressed your body against mine allowed me to feel the heart beat on your chest....

My mind was saying "I want you no more!..." but my body was screaming for you!...

Gosh! I hated myself for being so weak!...

You pushed me against that wall and kissed me passionately...Your hands were all over me...I felt like you were discovering my body for the very first time thou you knew it better than me...

I wrapped my legs around you and you took me to the bed...

I knew it was a mistake...

I knew you'd hurt me again...

And still I gave myself to you completely...Heart....Body..And soul...

Three months later I received a letter from you....I sat on the sofa...Opened a bottle of wine and took a sip of it...

Tears were now running down my face...My world was crashing down with each word you placed in that letter...

You were getting married in three weeks time...With the girl your family wanted you to...

What about me?....What about us?....

Well...I guess I'm too complicated!....

And I always knew that....

Still...I couldn't stop loving you...

The fruit of my passion for you is now growing inside me...Nearly three months now...

But it's meaningless...It doesn't matter...Not anymore...

All I want now is to put an end to this pain...

I grabbed the bottle of wine...Filled up the tub..Lighted up some candles...Dropped my robe on the floor...And got in...

The warm water eased the pain on my body...

The razor eased the pain on my soul...

I closed my eyes and felt the pain being drained away...»

By:Sandra Carvalho

10/04/2010

Long time since my last post

Yup....Definitely there's been quite some time since my last post.

As I told ya before I got a job last year and as you can imagine time is something that I'm still learning how to handle.Obviously some of the things I used to do before on a daily basis (such as blogging!) had to be left behind!Not very fond of that idea thou!LOL!But a lady gotta do what a lady gotta do right?!

Anyway, it's been almost an year since I started working and I still love to do what do (thou I got bigger plans for me!). The kids are doing great in all aspects and that makes me very happy.

Filipe is 13 years old now...Wilson is about to turn 11 next month...And Eric is 4 1/2 ....

It's a joy to see them grow strong and healthy but I miss the days they were little!...

Oh well...

Hope everything is running smoothly for ya as it is for me.

And like I said to a dear friend of mine: «If life gives ya lemons, make a lemonade!...And add some vodka!!!»

Placing all my bets!....

As some of you girls already know, I've made up my mind about change my life this year.I'm very stubborn and I've decided that this year will be one of the best years of my life!

I think I started pretty well by getting a tattoo done on my B'day right?!LOL!Well, that ain't all...2 weeks ago I went for a job interview...For my dream career!...Being a flight attendant!

It all went very well I should say....Thou my first thought when I got there was to turn around and walk away when I say over 50 people there applying for the same position (both genders) being 85% of them girls much younger, prettier and better groomed than me!...

Anyway...I decided to stick around and go for it no matter what!...

Turned out to be very positive for me!I actually found out that I really had a good chance of getting it!

By the end of that all I was the one who turned it out!

Thou I'm in 100% ok for all the requirements (age, education, skills , etc) it required me to move to Qatar...So...Thou I really want to become a flight attendant I had to say "No thanks!"...

Any hoo...I gave the 1st step towards it...Praying for new opps to come on over now!LOL!

Keep your fingers crossed for me girls!

B'day Present!

Yesterday I turned 33 and had a great day!

I took the day off cause I wanted this day to be memorable!

Me and hubby spent the day all by ourselves went out for lunch, had a coffee at Starbucks and guess what I've offered myself??

I got a tattoo!

I've been wanting to do one for such a long time but was a bit scared.It turned out to be as easy as going to the hairdresser.Actually, last time I went to do my nails it was so painful that I felt like hitting the lady who was doing the stupid manicure!So this was piece of cake!

I gotta tribal butterfly surrounded by 3 little stars!Butterfly representing me and obviously the stars representing my 3 gorgeous baby boys!

My Crew!

Here are some pics of my crew at work.

Seasons Greetings everyone!!!!

Update on my life news

Well, actually there isn't much to say!LOL!I'm still busy as a busy bee!

And I'm still in love with my job!LOL!

It's a very funny experience and I have a great team.I was the employee of the month for September and I have some responsibilities in my hands but I like it!

The kids are doing great and all excited about Xmas.I still haven't set up my Xmas tree thou!

I'm slimmer!!! Lost 5 kg in the last 4 weeks! So now I'm wearing jeans size 10!4 weeks ago I was a size 14!The ideal would be a size 8 thou! But I feel great already!

I miss my blogging friends a lot!

But...What can I do?....I'm always so tired that I hardly have time to do anything else.

Oh well....

Just hope everyone is doing great as well.

I'll keep in touch as regularly as possible!

Why I miss being pregnant...

Here are a couple of very good reasons ! :)